Thursday, June 4, 2009

I've got your tooth fairy

This morning I had a dentist appointment. For most of you, this is no big deal. You don't get butterflies in your stomach and you don't use your mental abilities to think yourself into having a toothache. This is because you didn't have the dentist I had when I was a child.

My childhood dentist was anything but gentle. His mannerisms nor his general attitude toward his job would lead anyone into believing that he was happy with the profession he had chosen for himself. And to top it all off, he made it clear that he did not like children.

I remember him telling me that if I didn't stop crying that he would make my mom leave the room. I also remember thinking that he must have eaten raw onions for breakfast, or so his breath was telling me. When he threatened to make my mom leave the room, I wanted so badly to tell him that I wasn't crying because I was scared, I was crying because of his breakfast choice. Truth be told, I was crying for both of those reasons.

And at the end of every appointment, the dental hygienist would lead me to this particular mirror that turned into a window of sorts at the press of a button. Through the glass appeared the tooth fairy and she would say her little pre-recorded speech about taking care of your teeth. Now that I think about it, she looked very similar to Paula Deen, but with Dolly Parton's wig and Boy George's makeup. Yeah, I know, I'll give you a little time to put all of that together....
Basically, the tooth fairy after a night out with some heavy prescription drugs.

That was in no way the way I pictured the tooth fairy in my head. I always pictured a more dainty, Tinkerbell-type fairy, and the tooth fairy that stared at me through that mirror doing big, long blinks secretly freaked me out a little.

I couldn't wait to get out of there and dreaded my next appointment that would take place exactly six months following.

Thankfully, my appointment today was a lot less stressful and I didn't even shed a tear. Because you know I can shed a tear like it's no one's business.

After my x-rays, I sat in the examining room waiting for Dr. T to enter. The anticipation of it all was the worst part. I sat there long enough to start picking my fingers and managed to do sufficient damage to my cuticles before he entered.

I made it through the appointment successfully, all the while listening to Phil Collins sing "Hold On My Heart". Good ol' Phil, singing me right through my exam. The music in doctors' offices always cracks me up. I especially like it when they play classic instrumental versions of somewhat new pop music.

I mentioned to the dentist that I thought some of my gums were receding. He checked them out and agreed. The country's recession is affecting everyone and everything - even my gums. Apparently having orthodontic work (braces) as a pre-teen, along with brushing with so much force that you give yourself a triceps workout, can lead to gum recession. Back when I had braces, the only thing I worried about was what color rubber bands I was going to get at my next appointment. Little did I know my gums would have to pay for it later. In the past I've given shout outs to Dr. G, my orthodontist, for doing a miracle on a gnarly overbite. But here's what I want to say now: Hey Dr. G, you may have fixed my grill, but you jacked up my gums.

So I may need to look into having something done with the gum recession issue. And I know it's not all due to braces, but we all know it feels better having someone to blame things on.

As I was checking out and scheduling my next appointment, my main squeeze surprised me by sticking his head through the little waiting room window and told me that he's taking me to lunch. He was working nearby, it was lunch time, and he's got a wife that loves food, so it all just worked out.

A (for the most part) smooth dentist appointment, lunch with my man, and no freaky tooth fairies...

Today was a good day.



19 comments:

Stephanie said...

Your childhood dental experiences sound frightening. I think it's wonderful that you go as an adult despite that horrible dentist.

I brush my teeth way too hard, maybe I should stop doing that. Lol.

Kristy said...

The "someone to blame things on" cracked me up!

SassyTimes said...

LOL, my mom works in a dentist office and I always laugh at the music. It's awful!

Angela Darling said...

hahaha.. I love that tooth fairy description! I'm glad this experience was much better than your childhood ones :)

Q, La, and Gooner said...

That tooth fairy sounds terrible!!!

Caroline said...

Oh yes I HATE going to orthodontist/ dentist apointments. It does make going to the dentist a little better because my uncle is my dentist, and all the hygeniest know not to hurt me!! lol

Brandi said...

Wow I've never had a bad experience with the dentist really. I had an appointment today myself but it sounds as though yours went better than mine. I had to have a couple of shots and I'm still numb from it 4 hours later! I've been unable to eat... I dribbled cherry from my cherry Dr Pepper on my shirt.... My co-workers have found it hilarious that I look like a stroke victim being none of the muscles on the left side of my face are working... geez....

abby said...

Aww i'm so sorry you had a bad experiance at the dentist when you were a little girl. I've never had that much problems with the dentist-- my uncle is my dentist! Sometimes i get a cranky hygientist, but that's about it.

That's amazing that you have been to the same dentist since childhood,though!

sal gal said...

thanks for bringing back some horrible memories for me hol.... and i had come so far. this dentist actually put his hand over my mouth and told me to shut-up when i was little.

up until about 4 years ago, i still cried every time they called my name at the dentist.

kinda makes me want to go find him now. to have a little adult to adult "chat" with him.

Bridget said...

I love you being off work. All these posts. For awhile there I didn't know what to do without Hollie haha..you have to be the funniest blogger out there! You crack me up! I too brush my teeth really hard and I would rather go to the OB than the dentist that's how much I hate the dentist haha.

Love Lace said...

What an awful experience! I'm so glad my bad dental experience wasn't until I was an adult! Otherwise I might be more terrified than I already am!

Crystal said...

Hollie,
OMG I hate the dentist. And I believe that my gums are receeding too. Ugh! I have pain there from it. Also am very sensitive to cold. Did the Dentist tell you what they do to fix that problem? I would love to know...so I can prepare myself! My email is Crystallee21@aol.com. Thanks!

Katy said...

Oh, man...we may have had the same dentist. My mom always called him, Dr. Feelbad; I always wondered why she kept taking us to him.
Glad your dentist visiting days are better, I know mine are for sure.

ladybugcda said...

Hello, I'm the *Toothfairy* You can follow me @toothfairycyber on Twitter! I've been the Toothfairy Online for almost a decade and I know you will enjoy and appreciate my whimsy and dentalfunstuff. I share your early childhood dental fears and negative experiences. When I grew up I became a Certified Dental Assistant! I help ensure children and adults will never be afraid to visit the Dentist! Thanks in advance for signing my guestbook when you visit and explore "Toothfairycyberspace".
www.toothfairycyberspace.com
~Good-bye, Gotta Fly ~

Kelley said...

there's just something about the sound of the drill that freaks me out when I go to the dentist, but your experiences trump that completely! What an awful dentist you had! I'm glad you made it through all of that and haven't sworn off dentists all together!

I hope you have a fab weekend!

Heidi said...

haha! that sounds like the same dentist I had growing up and now I hate dentists! I love mine now! I'm glad your experience was quick and painless for the main part.

*~! megs !~* said...

I got so lucky that I had a cool dentist growing up! Thanks for reminding me of that with this horror story!!

And gum recession.. eek! That doesn't sound like a load of fun... Hope it's easy to take care of!

theluckiestmrs said...

Oh no! As a future dentist, I feel so bad for the little Hollie! Poor thing! I always swish with mouthwash before I see my patients just in case! haha! ;)
I'm gad that your visit was not-so-bad today!

In my dream office of the future, I'll have yummy smelling candles, spa-esque music & hand massages!

momofmoddy said...

Being the monster who took them to that monster on a regular basis...dont they have beautiful teeth? lol
NO seriously, I went to his dad growing up and both of his sons became dentist. They had a very good reputation in Jacksonville. Well,his hands were like the hulk and he wasnt mean......but could get stearn. Otherwise, I would have jumped out of the chair and run out of the office like i did at mt pediatricians once.
In concluding, I never wanted them to have to hurt and i did remember that after the 1st visit, kids always act much better without their parents in there. They were at least 7 or 8
by this time. I didnt know they were being tortured!jk.Sorry girls.......but yall do have beautiful teeth .....be proud of them.....NO PAIN NO GAIN! LOL