Tuesday, March 2, 2010

At this point I would have welcomed a Ladies Home Journal

Well, I walked away from my glucose tolerance test unscathed. But not without jumping through a few hoops.

For starters, as most of you know, you have to go without food before having this test done. Problem numero uno. This chick doesn't do well without food, pregnant or not.

Problem number two: After drinking the sugary liquid, I head back to the waiting room only to find that this is what they're coming at me with:

This, my friends, is the supply of reading materials I was working with.

My only thoughts were, "You're telling me I gotta sit in this waiting room for an hour and the best you've got to offer me is Seniors Guide?! Are you kiddin' me?!" I mean technically yes, I could use a few tips on where to get the biggest bang for my buck on elastic pants right about now. But that's beside the point. Stay with me.

So by the time they called for me to come back for the blood-drawing portion of my appointment, I was only about two articles short of being an expert on all things geriatric.

As I sat down and rolled my sleeve, the phlebotomist kept sniffing, sneezing and rubbing her eyes. "Sinuses," she says. "I promise I'm not contagious."

"No problem," I reply. I can deal with sinuses.

Just as she's getting all of her supplies lined up and ready to go, she starts complaining of how tired she was. And then I notice her doing a quick mathematical problem....on her fingers.

"It's way too early for me to be doing math....or to be a work for that matter." And then she laughs. Because we all know, or at least hope, a laugh takes the severity of an inappropriate statement down a few notches.

Okay now I start feeling a little uneasy. For starters, it's 9:45am. I don't think you can officially call that 'early'. Secondly, why are you telling me this? Thirdly, you better get your act together Sister, and I mean quick, fast, and in a hurry - because you're holding a needle, and my arm is your playground.

I actually turned my head, closed my eyes and prepared for the worse, but surprisingly she did a fine job. It didn't hurt any more than it normally does and I was outta there as fast as I could pull my sleeve down and give her a quick, "Thanks, have a good day."

On my way back to work I made a quick stop at Wal-mart for some more Palmer's Tummy Butter. Fifteen short minutes later I was heading out with four bags full of snacks. Never ever send a pregnant woman who has fasted since the night before into Wal-mart and think she'll come out with only Tummy Butter.

Oh, and I found a way to eat dessert for breakfast.


And dinner.

It claims that you can eat it as part of a tasty balanced breakfast.

I believe the tasty part. As far as balanced......I'm not so sure. But hey, it says it is, so I'm going with it. Besides, it's delicious times ten.


Abby said...

Never had Nutella before! But B always raves about it. Will have to pick some up from Wallyworld.

Glad your test is over :D

Little Miss Paige said...

Oh my gosh! That "nurse"s comments slay me!!

Nuttella is heavenly (obviously). I like it on bananas.

Little Miss Paige

Kristy said...

I LOVE Nutella! But duh, because generally if you like it, I like it. In the least stalkerish way possible.
And really with the blood girl? Really? Ugh.
When Keira was born- and lost weight down to 3 lb 13 oz!- some punk lady drew the WRONG vial full of my baby's blood... threw it out, REdrew, then DROPPED the vial. I was about to go all hormonal/lack of sleep/new mama crazy on that chick.

SassyTimes said...

Nutella is also good straight out of the jar....and maybe, just maybe, with a half scoop of peanut butter on the spoon as well. I may, or may not, have consumed several jars of this throughout my pregnancy. ;)

petrii said...

Yep got me some Nutella in the cabinet right now. And if my tummy ever takes a hiatus from the nauseousness of stomach flu and ulcer combo, I'll be enjoying me some of that.

Let's us know how that test turns out ~~ have a Blessed day,

Trina said...

I almost spit out my yogurt at the geriatric line.

Nutella is pretty much the bomb. I can't keep it in the house or I would eat it by the spoonful.

monogramgirl said...

We're a little nutella crazy in this house! My son eats it on his waffle almost every day! I recently found a natural, equally tasty version at Whole Foods. I think I'm going for a spoonful right now :)

writing4612 said...

Oh man. I can sympathize with you on the not-so awake nurses. I had one who swore to me that she was good at finding veins, only to have my arm go from fine to extremely sore in 5 seconds. She apologized and then asked for the lady who had been doing it for 20 years to come in. Why didn't they do that to begin with?! She was a pro by the way and apologized for the other lady's lack of knowledge and tact.

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Well you made it through and now it is over!

Kaz and Amy said...

Too funny! They could have at least had a People for you read! Lol!