Thursday, October 30, 2008

And I'm Pretty Sure This is Why Her Friends Don't Ask to Borrow Her Deodorant

In the process of moving some of our crap belongings from one storage unit (a.k.a. our garage) to another (a.k.a. storage building behind our house) M to the Izza comes in, after being outside for quite a while and says, "Hey, I threw away all of your old love notes."

I was pretty sure I didn't have any of those hanging around anymore, and didn't really have that many to begin with anyway.


"I'm just kiddin'", he says. "But there are a few cards and pictures of when you lived in New York out there."

Hmmm, I didn't realize I still had those. Gimme gimme!


Background: After grad school I moved to NYC and lived there for about a year and half. My first year of teaching was in an inner-city school in Brooklyn. Why did I move so far away? Well, in a super abbreviated format: The guy I dated throughout most of my college years got a job in advertising in Manhattan after graduation and we didn't want to be apart. As a matter of fact, we were even talking marriage. And talking is ALL we did as far as marriage is concerned. He wanted a lifetime girlfriend, while I on the other hand, wanted a husband and family and NY was not where I wanted to be. I felt like Country Mouse in the big city. So I moved home and decided the long distance thing was for the birds. (And again I emphasize the super in super abbreviated)

Oh how things change. For the better. From cashmere to camo, if you will.

So that, mixed with the cool weather that finally decided to grace our presence, gets me thinking about the City and the things I enjoyed while living there vs. the things I definitely do not miss.

The things I enjoyed (and I say enjoyed because I don't really miss them, but I do have fond memories of) are the pretty obvious, expected responses:
  • the shopping

  • broadway shows
  • network parties (the beau did the advertising and commercial placements for the networks' shows, so his company always got invited to the parties = super cool but felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb!)

  • the food

  • department stores' window displays at Christmas time

  • the shopping....oh wait, I said that one already

  • potluck block parties (they would close off our street and set up long banquet tables with white tablecloths and candles and everyone who lived on our block would bring something to the potluck dinner)

Now I could probably go on and on with the things I don't miss about NYC, but I'm just gonna name a few of the ones that come to mind.

  • selling my car and taking the subway EVERYWHERE because parking was a beast (the F train and I were BFF's)

  • the snow, snow, snow
  • the smell of urine along the subway corridors

  • having security guards on every floor of the school in which I taught

  • and this one is a little gross but unfortunately true: seeing a lady on the subway on my way to work apparently still out from a night of sketchy extracurricular activities take a stick of deodorant out of her bag and proceed to rub it under her pits, and then all the way down her arms. Wait. I'm not finished. She then pulls the front of her pants out a bit and rubs the deoderant on her crotch and finally on her face.

In. that. order.



Same stick of deodorant.



Not. even. kidding.



And that my friends, is enough to make anyone come crying home to mama.

33 comments:

Mojito Maven said...

WOW...there are NO words...

Jennifer said...

O.M.G. I'm shuddering - that is so disgusting.....

I've always wanted to visit there because NYC seems so glamorous - how cool you used to live there.

But the deoderant story might scare me off for a while. Ew!

Megan said...

OMG!! HAHAHAHA!

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

That is so gross!!

petrii said...

Gross, GRoss, GROSS ~~ oh yeah did I say GROSS!!!!!

No wonder you moved back ~~

Blessings to you,
Dawn

Rebecca Taylor said...

Oh my gosh!!!

Vineyard Vogue said...

O-M-G!!!! And you were trapped on the subway with this woman, you poor thing!!

I agree, NYC is an absolutely amazing place, and if we ever found ourselves with the opportunity to live there, it would definitely be a temporary thing. I like things a little more quiet, and a regular-old-small-town is just fine for me!

Kristen said...

OH MY WORD!! The incident in itself is sick, but to witness it...you poor thing!
I've never been to NYC but hope to make the trip one day.

Monogrammed Teacher said...

SICK!! I almost threw up!

TheVanzants said...

whoa! don't you love it that THAT memory is stuck in your head....

Trina said...

Hilarious! LOL "sketchy extracurricular activities"

I lived in Boston for a year and a half as a flight attendant. I dated someone in New York and I would NOT want to live there. Boston was city enough for me lol.

Kristy said...

AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I am screaming with laughter!
Good gracious what a weirdo!

Mandy Rose said...

OH MY! PUKE! I was seriously laughing out loud on this post!

I too, am a small town girl! Love the shopping of a big city, but the closeness of a small town life!

Haley Nicodemus said...

You are so funny! I can't believe I'm just now commenting, and I couldn't resist after reading this post. I don't know what I would do if I saw that woman behave that way with her deoderant...I do know I would have told everyone and their mother that story though. That is hysterical, disgusting, and disturbing all at the same time!

Justin and Jenn said...

You HAVE got to be kidding me!

Abbi said...

oh the blessings on NY!!!

but....the shopping!!! oh do i wish we're close then!! we could do some damage!!

Lane said...

OH NO!!! That is so nasty! Good thing you got outta there! I have never been there and don't really want to either! But the white table parties do sound fun...always love those potluck things!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

OMG lady...you DO draw a picture, dont you??!!
LMAO

JAY

Shannon said...

Ewwww!!!! That is the grossest thing!!!

Ah...NY store windows at Christmas time... I'd love to see that!

Emily said...

Your new blog is adorable!
I LoVe iT!!!!!
Ok that story made me crack up!
The things people dooooo... wow!!
Ive missed reading your blog while Ive been out of town!!! Have a great halloween and weeekend!!

Rebecca Jo said...

OH MY GOODNESS........I'm sure there are MANY sights like that to be held in NYC....You were just lucky enough to see it for yourself.

(My mind cant even wrap around seeing THAT!)

Domestic Diva....NOT said...

OMG, That had me laughing.......too funny :)

Three under Three said...

HA! That was reason enough to move back home!

MiMi said...

OMG!!! I can't even imagine!

Hey...camo's way better than cashmere, anyway!

Katie Lake said...

I TOTALLY know how you feel. I've been in San Francisco for 9 months now and totally miss the south. Instead of the subway, we have muni and bart...

Oh and the deodorant thing reminds me of something I saw on My Big Redneck wedding on CMT! Yuck!

Liana said...

that thing about the woman is beyonnnd gross!! i to love the displays in NYC :)

Jennifer said...

I entertained the idea of moving to NYC or some other big city a long time ago. That pretty much ended the first time I visited and saw a man (ahem) entertaining himself under a blanket on the subway. Later that same day a freaky looking chick with a scarf covering her face was walking behind me and - I swear to all that is good and holy - plucked a strand of my hair right out of my head.

I'm fine with sticking to the suburbs thankyouverymuch. :)

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

Gross gross gross!! NYC always sounds so magical, ha!

The wife said...

Good gravy, I just vurped!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

Miss Anne said...

I have no words for the deoderant story.

Blech!

Ha! hilarious tho!

:)

Angela said...

That.is.so.gross. Eww eww eww!

On a completely different note, whenever you update your blog roll next, I'd love to be added! :)

~Crystal~ said...

I think I threw up in my mouth 3 times during that story. So Nasty! But good story.

Farrell and Lauren said...

So I live in NY now and few days go by that I don't miss the cleanliness of the suburbs. I swear, the smells and the dirtiness are going to cause a psychic break for me : ) I also have to say that in a weird way I miss southern shopping- I get so overwhelmed here!